Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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