Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The air taste purple.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
