Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
