I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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