bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
