Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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