i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
