Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
