I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
