Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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