when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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