he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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