walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
