someone threw a dead crab at me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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