The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
