Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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