yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
