After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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