Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
