You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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