I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
