There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
