with your own penis?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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