Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize