he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
why is half of my head shaved?
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