I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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