we're chasing vodka with high fives
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
