# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is Oprah even human
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
