I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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