the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
