Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
