It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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