the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize