Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
