If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
