You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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