too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
