Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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