I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
