apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
