I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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