I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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