Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
