I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
