i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
