I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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