Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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