Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
