i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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