My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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