I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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