That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
