Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
