whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
