it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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