You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
