How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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