Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
