ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
