i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
