Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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