Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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