wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
