i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a sexual gate keeper
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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