i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
