it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
