bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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