ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
