Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You ruined the universe
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
